Wednesday, April 21, 2010

The Curse of the Blackwell Butt

Oh, my, god. Becky, look at her butt. It is so big. *scoff* 
She looks like,
one of those rap guys' girlfriends.
But, you know, who understands those rap guys? *scoff*  

They only talk to her, because,
she looks like a total prostitute, 'kay? I mean, her butt, is just so big.
I can't believe it's just so round, it's like, out there, I mean—gross.

– Sir Mix-A-Lot

When I first started this blog, one of my MFs (not to be confused with MILFs), said that he didn't want me to "exercise my ass off" because it is perfect. I thanked him through my laughter because I know there is no way I will ever lose my round rear end completely. As I stated in my What is Your Body Type? post, you have to accept your genes in order to understand what you can and cannot change about your body. In my family, it doesn't matter what size you are. Short or tall, fat or thin, all of the women have curvy asses; we call it The Curse of the Blackwell ButtBlackwell being my maternal grandmother's maiden name. Even my anorexic aunt cannot rid herself of the small round bump on her backside. *

Saying we are cursed may be a bit dramatic, but trying to find the perfect pair of jeans is harder than shopping for a bathing suit. Of course, the Blackwell Butt became a blessing once I realized how much men appreciate a fine fanny. According to my husband, there's nothing worse than a woman with a flat ass. Well, he has nothing to worry about; my derrière will become tighter through EMAO, but not much smaller. I'm no Jennifer Lopez, but I give her credit for making bigger booties cool again. 'Cause thanks to the Blackwell Butt, this baby's got back!

AWW – XoXo
(I wish my lower body looked like the one below!)

* I am not making fun of anorexia, which is a serious illness; I am, however, mocking my family. If you are seeking political correctness, you are reading the wrong blog.

So Cosmo says you're fat
Well I ain't down with that!
'Cause your waist is small and your curves are kickin'
And I'm thinkin' bout stickin'
To the beanpole dames in the magazines:
You ain't it, Miss Thing!


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    The information in this blog is not intended as a substitute for professional health care. Please consult your doctor before beginning any diet or exercise program.