Before EMAO

I have delayed posting my "Before" pictures (even though I took then awhile ago) because

1. I don't like posting many pictures of myself online (I edit my husband's Facebook uploads),
2. I don't want the photos to haunt me years from now, and
3. I look horrible.

However, I think it is important for my motivation that I "see" these pictures all the time, not that I need photographic evidence of my excess weight. As Dr. Ian K. Smith from Celebrity Fit Club likes to say, "The scale doesn't lie." I would add that tape measures also don't lie, and pants tell the truth as well. In fact, my two favorite and recent humiliating "fat" stories are related to pants.

My Victoria's Secret red corduroys, which I had altered when I first bought them because the waist was too large, seemed a bit tight the last time I wore them. Bit tight? Well when I lay down to relax after eating, one of the buttons snapped right off. I couldn't believe it. Stunned, I didn't move because I was too afraid that the other button would pop, too. Thank god I was at home. I haven't worn them since that day.

Last week, my husband complimented me on my pinstriped dress slacks. Now, I have worn these pants around him before, and I know he likes them, but he usually doesn't say anything. On this occasion he said, "Like those pants, honey. Nice and tight." I didn't tell him that I wanted to burst into tears because they are not supposed to be that snug. I can't wear tight pants when I tutor small children. Again, thank god I was at home.

Now some people look at me and think that I am small. According to a 2002 National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey, the average American woman stands 5'4" and weighs 164 pounds. I am currently 5'2.5" tall and weigh 118 pounds giving me a body mass index (BMI) of 21.3, which is within normal range. After my thyroid was removed in 1996, my weight ballooned to 142 pounds. As I mentioned in My Haphazard Health History post, the Synthroid that I must take every day affects my weight so I do have to see my doctor soon to have my thyroid checked.

However, "small" does not equal fit. I may look fine in clothes, but I am not in shape or comfortable with the way I look right now. I think my too-honest-for-his-own-good husband said it best, "You are tiny. You just have a few pounds to lose. Things (e.g., ass, abs) will get tighter." I swear there was a gleam in his eye when he said that last sentence. I wonder if he realizes when "things get tighter" that my pants will get looser. Hmm ...
Anyway, here are my current stats and my EMAO goals:

The waist, hips, and thigh measurements are what my sizes were 18 months ago. I remember because that is when I bought the P90X workout program, and you have to write down your "Before" body measurements in the book. Yep—that's right—I am trying to get back to the way I was ... before Advair, before pneumonia, before 2009 was one of the most wasted years of my life. I weighed 112 pounds at my wedding so I think that goal is achievable even though losing that "last ten pounds" can sometimes be the toughest part of any workout regimen. I am not sure about the body fat percentage, but 21 seems like a reasonable (and lucky) number.

The numbers aside, at the end of this journey I just want to fit comfortably into all of my pants again. No more buttons popping off for me! 

AWW – XoXo

P.S. It is a good thing that my husband doesn't read this blog. ;-)

Before EMAO